Please don’t do this to us again, Breaking Dawn.

It was when Jacob expressed concern at Belle having sex with Edward while she was still human that i begun to suspect that this movie was going to go into very disturbing detail.

“While you’re still human?” Jacob railed in anguish. “You’ll die!”

Belle stood there, shaking and looking vulnerable and it was all just so Sick and Twisted. Or so i thought.

Then she got pregnant. Obviously i hadn’t seen anything yet.

Fast forward to her giving birth. It wasn’t enough that the fetus was making her drink blood (her pleasure drinking it was just plain weird). It also had to break her bones and dislodge itself from her placenta.

But when there wasn’t enough time to cut her belly open in a civilized manner, and Edward started tearing into her stomach (WTF?) with his teeth that the matter for me, was entirely finished.

“SHIT!”, I screamed, on my hands and knees, in a fetal position of my own, hugging my bedpost. “You guys are fucking KIDDING me!”

Bone crunched and skin tore open as Edward’s lips became smeared with her blood.

“You sick, twisted, FREAKS!”, I exclaimed, unable to tear myself from my bedpost.

The baby came. Belle lay there, literally skin and bones and blood, dying.

Who gives a shit? Jacob ‘imprinted’ her baby. This pedophile claimed Belle’s baby for his own bed mate and future life-long partner.

Jacob fell on his knees and tried to use poetic language to explain how he had fallen in love with the baby.

Lord have mercy. I hope this is the last we shall see of this cannibalistic, blood-thirsty, predatory business.

It’s going to take a while to get it out of my head.