My Guy from Friday night.

This event took place at my local watering hole in Kyoto restaurant, Centenary Park.

I was reclining on a couch, re-reading the very captivating ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’ by Chimamanda.

I advise you to read it too

I say, I was reclining on this couch when a tall black man strode in and cooly sat right opposite me. I was instantly alert. I sat up and looked around, counting slowly. There were six pairs of couches free for him to place his bottom on. After deliberating upon this for a minute or two, I decided that yes, I had the right to be uncomfortable.

“Excuse me”, I said. He looked up from his phone, blandly, like I were a waitress taking his order.

“There are other seats”, I continued. “Could you please leave?”

Instantly, I sensed the hostility that begun to emanate from him and would not abate for half an hour.

“Have you ever heard of Freedom?”, he barked.

If I were of the flinching nature, I would have. Instead I am curious.

“Freedom? Freedom of what?”

“The right to sit where I want to sit!”

“Erm, I also have the right to be comfortable. You have not asked me if you can join me. This is obviously a personal setting of couches. Why would you walk in here, past all these couches and choose mine? You’re making me suspicious, you’re making me uncomfortable and I want you to leave. Please. This doesn’t need to be difficult.”

“Who do you think you are?”, he asked. “Am I sitting right next to you? Heh? HEH?”

I was for once in my life, not losing my temper.

“Dude, get serious. You don’t just come and join people like so.”

He razed me with his eyes, looking at me like I were a bug that had crawled out from it’s cocoon in front of him.

“Are you drunk?”, he barked again.

Sighing, I beckoned the waitress over and explained the situation, and left it in her hands. He was the same with her as well. She walked off and soon we were joined by who I shall presume is the head bouncer.

Most diplomatic chap, I must say.

He kept me out of it, speaking to the man in quiet tones. I returned to Chimamanda, while glancing over at them occasionally. Eventually, the man’s voice begun to rise.

“Do you know who I am?” he was asking diplomatic chap. “Eh? Look, look her at my I.D! Read that, and understand that I know why I am here and I know why I’ve chosen this seat!”

My curiosity peaked. A government spy? Letting us know he needed this seat to spy on someone? Someone who has probably been alerted? And perhaps soon there was going to be a wild chase! Ohhh, how exciting!

Should I turn my head and look around?

At this point, head bouncer came and whispered to me, “This man is ‘Security’. Let me deal with this, I shall solve it”.

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t care what he is. I want him gone, he’s freaking me out.”

To which security man told bouncer, wagging his fingers in my direction: “I can teach this girl a lesson and I can teach it to her tonight!”

My eyes opened as wide as saucers and I asked him earnestly. “Why would you do that? Why would you walk into a restaurant, join people and when they tell you to leave, you threaten to teach them lessons? What is wrong with you?”

The bouncer entreated me to remain silent. Security guy glared at me. I narrowed my eyes to slits and glared right back.

I ain’t losing this competition tough guy

With disgust, S.G pulled his gaze away from me and said, “It’s fine, I’m going!”

Dude, you’re either a very bad faker, or the worst covert spy ever.

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