I’ve been interacting with a gentleman I met online. I don’t usually ‘be-friend’ strangers on an Internet but he’s followed my writing for years and soon we became pen pals, come to speak.
Until in his foreign privilege to be a snob without logic or reason he asked me when Africans are going to ‘get their shit together’.
This man is from Ireland. I felt like asking him how in spite of having only two ‘tribes’-nationalists and loyalists, I think-they hadn’t gotten their own shit together. But I no longer engage in such arguments. Only if I want to sleep.
In the course of our chats, it emerged that I was ignorant about certain geographical and historical contexts of countries. In his words, “I’m shocked at your ignorance of basic blah blah.”. He wasn’t polite about it either.
I don’t have time for wahala anymore from people who think they graduated from the University of Wikipedia. No one is not stupid in something.
This shaming of people for their flaws is an unfortunate practice of humans. People run to Google rather than say ‘I have’t a clue’ and good for you but you really make your life difficult.
It took me a long time for example to not be ashamed of being thin in a part of Africa where it’s tantamount to criminal negligence. I’m not ashamed to be a scatterbrain. I’m not ashamed to be extremely forgetful. I’m not ashamed to ‘confrontational’. I’m not ashamed to always be chronically late. I can work on my bad sides but I cannot be ashamed of them.
I made a decision one day to embrace my flaws and polish my virtues and it’s made all the difference. It is natural for good and bad to co-exist together.