I have this special personality where I forget faces. The Gods blessed me with it for a reason I am yet to ascertain. Over the years, I learned that I have to meet a person about five times before I remember them.
This facial recognition deficiency appears to be limited to men. I know, weird right? At first it used to mortify me.
Me: “Hi, I’m Lindsey”.
Him: “Yes, I know. We’ve met”.
Me: “Really? When?”
Him: “Four times”.
Me: “Oh. Well, erm…okay, great to meet you again!”.
Long pause.
Me: “So what’s your name again?”.
I thought I would improve with time. Nope. But I have adjusted quite well to my mental illness.
Me: “Hi, I’m Lindsey”.
Him: “Yes, I know. We’ve met”.
Me: “I’m so sorry. I have this thing where I forget faces. So how many times have I forgotten you?”.
Awkward pause as the man fights with his ability to practice social niceties.
Him: “You’re the one who introduced me to so and so at this event”.
Me: “I’m sorry, who? And what event?”
Another awkward pause. For him, not for me. He needs his moment of incredulity.
It may make me seem like a cad but if my facial recognition software is fried…
I regret nothing
P.S: And this is nothing compared to my spatial intelligence. Last night I spent 15 minutes looking for a place I’d been to twice and it was right in front of me. With a glowing neon sign.
Hater with Humour 