I’m going to do that racist thing where I say, “Hey! I have Baganda friends. We hang out and everything”.
Now that’s done, let’s discuss this excuse taxi touts use to bore people who don’t speak Luganda. With me it usually goes something like this:
Me: Excuse me please, how much is it to-?
Tout (in luganda): Don’t bore me! Speak in Luganda!
Me: Also you don’t bore me. I don’t speak Luganda. Do you want a customer or do you want Luganda?! I can walk off and leave you with the language if you want!
It usually works and the tout and I part friends. Last night though, what happened was bizarre.
I’d taken a taxi and I think the men lied about where they were going. I kept asking (in Luganda by the way) if they were going to drop me at say, King Kong. They kept responding:
“We’re going to Jumanji”
“Yeah, but are you going to pass via King Kong?”
“We’re going to Jumanji”.
I wasn’t taking chances. In English, I asked to leave the taxi.
“If you don’t want to answer my questions, you can stop here”, I said.
The driver screamed: “Speak to us in Luganda”.
Sincerely a pause was in order. I turned in astonishment to gasp at him.
I could swear I’d spent the last ten minutes speaking to them in the language of their preference. It seems the rules state conversations must end that way too!
Munange. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.