Have you ever tried to take 1k away from a drunkard?

It was around 3.00 am and I was in an Uber on my way home from the airport. As is the wont of the average Ugandan passenger, I struck up a conversation with him.

“How’s your day been Ssebbo?” I asked him.

“Not good. Not good at all”, he sighed, his face morose.

“What’s the matter?”, I queried further.

“Can you imagine that since 8.00 am I have only made 30,000 shillings?”

Reader, this is a paltry sum of money to justify more than a day of working.

“You think I don’t want to be in bed now?”, he continued. “But I can’t go home with only 30,000 shillings!”.

“I’m so sorry”, I said. “Maybe erm…tomorrow will be better”.

“I doubt it”, he said gloomily. “The weekends are the worst. People become extra stingy. The women complain that I have manipulated the app to increase the fare and the men pretend to be drunk so they don’t understand how much they have to pay”.

Suspecting that I and mine have been one of these cretins in the past, I hastened to beg him to have an open mind.

“Now that’s not fair”, said I, defender of the drunkards. “When one is tipsy their judgement is impaired. Maybe they are genuinely confused”.

“Get out of here!”, my driver barked. “Try to take 1k away from a drunkard and see if his maths doesn’t become better than a calculator”.

When you put it like that…

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