Thank you Justin Beiber

Published in the Daily Monitor:

Living on the top floor of a block of flats, I realized I could see into part of the compound of my neighbour who has a proper house. Because I have a great deal of respect for people’s privacy, I make a conscious effort not to grab a chair, take a seat and gaze at their concrete parking lot.

One day however, I was making myself a cup of coffee when I spotted a tall handsome Caucasian male with blonde hair working on a car in said parking lot. I neglected my coffee and snuck over to the balcony for a peek. I approved. I approved very much.

I decided this was worth breaking a few rules. I went back to get the coffee, grabbed a chair and gazed into the parking lot of this fine specimen.

Like I said, he was tall and had a pleasant face to look at with a short beard. He wore light blue jeans that hugged his hips and a snug blue t-shirt that showed off the contours of his muscular body. He occasionally bent over the bonnet of the car, displaying a shapely behind.

“Lovely”, I nodded, entranced. “Just lovely”.

“What?”, I heard him calling out to someone. “Gimme a few minutes. I’ll be right there”.

“No no no!”, I cursed.

Then I noticed his hair.

Something about his hair. It looked…too nice. His blonde hair shone brilliantly under the glare of the sun, transforming into a golden hue. The front was slightly longer than the back but somehow managed to hover over his forehead without flopping down.

Only men who have grown up in the Beiber era have such hair. I peered again at his short beard and the shock of what I was looking at dawned on me. This one was even in the beginning process of becoming a hipster!

When did my radar get so flawed that I was ogling young boys?

My heart sank as I realized that the young generation was upon me. Then my spirits lifted as I knew that this chap’s hairstyle had achieved its purpose of warning me away from his youth.


Thank you Justin Beiber!

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