This is how you make the most of an insult

Everyone has that Facebook friend who is a rebel without a cause so to speak. I should know. Up till a few days ago, I fit the description excellently myself. You only had to begin to type a sentence for me to find something wrong with the sentence you were intending to type, and to hurl at you a slew of nasty names for your future bad manners.

A few days is a long time ago, you understand. Now I am the very image of docility and empathy. Which is how when I found myself on the receiving end of a verbal barrage from a ‘rebel’, I was able to carry myself with maturity and make the best of the insults I received.

It happened like this. One day, my Facebook friend rebel had a status that wasn’t saying very nice things about her fellow Ugandans for vague reasons. I found it plain unnecessary and made the grievous error of commenting on her wall something thus:

“You can’t say that. You don’t have the right to sneer at this and that because you don’t do it” etc.

Wololo. Never again will I attempt to stand up for an absent majority. She begun.

“Really, Lindsey? Did you have to do that? Did you have to come on my wall and throw shade?”

I did some quick research and learned that ‘throwing shade’ is akin to raining on someone’s parade.

“No, I’m just saying that you don’t have to lift yourself up by putting other people down”.

“Please, Lindsey”, she continued. “Don’t come and do ‘your things’ here. I don’t need it. Do me a favour and be quiet. I don’t need your hate”. Something polite like that.

Getting puzzled, I sent her a private message asking what precisely the problem was. She barraged my in-box with abuse. It really was quite colourful but I learned no new words sadly.

“I know all about you, you hater. Always looking for drama. I hear about you. People never stop talking about you. I hate people like you. I CAN’T STAND people like you. You disgust me. All you know how to do is hate. FUCK OFF!”.

Something polite like that.

While I got tired and unfriended her I felt like there was something of sense she was giving me. An idea. It took me two days of hard thinking to zoom in on it. I changed the title of this blog from ‘Kukundarizar’ to ‘Hater with Humor’.


Look up there, you’ll see!

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