I’D RATHER MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF

I was walking on the main road outside Centenary Park with two friends. Up ahead at the traffic light junction, we observed a most awful din coming out of a taxi parked there. It was 11.30pm. Naturally, I assumed something bad was happening but was not quite sure what. Then I distinguished the sound of a woman screaming.

Now I lack the most valuable trait of caution. I shall jump headlong into a swimming pool to save a drowning child and I can’t even swim. Therefore, without thinking at all, I sprinted quickly towards the taxi and saw at a glance what looked like a kidnapping.

The taxi was empty and the woman was in the front seat desperately trying to open the door. The conductor had his arm around keeping it closed with his hand. The traffic lights would go green any second. There was no way I was going to allow these men to drive away with one screaming woman in an empty taxi. I grabbed a hold of the conductor’s beefy arm with my two puny hands and tugged furiously.

“Let her go!” I was shouting. “Open this door, you KIDNAPPER!”

“Madam!” shouted the driver. “You don’t understand. This is a traffic junction. We can’t offload passengers here!”

Wululululu!” the woman screamed louder. “Help me please. These men won’t let me get out!”.

“What’s going on?” my friends asked, panting after rushing to catch up. The woman, the driver and I all garbled out our interpretations of the situation. John and Mary gave the taxi men the benefit of the doubt.

“It’s true, you can’t get off here, Lindsey. These guys could get a fine”.

“And what if you’re wrong?” I yelled, as I begun to beat at the conductor. “I’m not willing to take that chance. Release this woman this INSTANT!!!”

Two traffic policemen begun to walk towards the taxi. Throwing all traffic rules to the wind, the cursing conductor let the woman out and sped off. Perhaps I was wrong, and they were innocently waiting for the right stage to drop her off.

But I’d rather make a fool of myself than be the person who last saw a woman before she appeared dead in a swamp.

awkward

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