Have you ever been in a car with a driver so impatient that you could feel the impatience in the air?

Right from the taxi park, I didn’t like the way my driver was doing his thing. Pedestrians had to jump out of his way; he sped towards boda bodas, forcing them to veer away at the last minute. He overtook cars everywhere. It wasn’t necessary but he was always on the lookout for who to overtake.

I was in the front seat and slowly going crazy. When we found ourselves on a narrow road in a traffic jam, he did not seem to like the fact that all the drivers were lining up patiently. Couldn’t they see, he must have thought, that the road for drivers coming from the opposite direction was empty?

As though to be a leader, he swung into that wrong lane with a muttered curse, and begun speeding there. My chances of having a heart attack were strongly enriched.

Accident Ahead_kormansigns.com__6

“Excuse me Ssebo”, I said gently ( I swear!). “You’re in the wrong lane and speeding. What’s the hurry? Why don’t we just wait for the traffic to clear like the other drivers?”

“Excuse me?!” he shouted. “Are you trying to teach me how to drive?”

“No”, I continued. “I’m just saying that you’re making me really uncomfortable and as long as I’m in your car, I’d like you to drive a little more carefully”.

“Listen to this one!” his voice rose. “Who do you think you are, trying to teach me how to drive? If you don’t like it, get the hell out!”

“Fine by me”, I responded. He went back into the right lane (at least!) and parked on the side.

“Give me my money!” Even though it was miles before my real stop, I gave him the money and he begun to look for change, all the while directing a stream of insults in my direction.

“You STUPID woman!” he was shouting. “Trying to teach me how to drive. STUPID!!!”

The conductor opened the door and the driver pointed.

“The door is open. Evaporate!”

Why thank you sir, for reminding me of that colorful primary school insult.

Note: In August this year, I was in a car with a colleague and narrowly survived a proper head-on collision because of a taxi driver just like this one. We got away with a side mirror ripped off its hinges, that smashed through the driver’s mirror and deposited shards of glass all over the car, and even tinier shards embedded themselves in our faces. We in our car, and every passenger in that taxi would have died because they did not have the courage or the forethought to tell their driver to be careful. This holiday season (and every other day for that matter), do not allow yourself to die or to kill others because you are driving recklessly or are in a car with someone who is. Get out, or tell the driver to relax.

Happy New Year!

2 thoughts on “EVAPORATE!”

  1. LOLest!

    Thank you for the very very interesting stories all year round…

    I wish you a fantastic 2015 that is full of health and wealth!

    Thank you Lindsey.

    Karamagi Andrew

    Sent from my Lumia


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