Coolity, Baby.

I let my friends know about my last birthday party by creating a Facebook event titled “Goodbye to them fucking 20’s”. I did not realize there was anything amiss with this title until a friend chided me online, saying, “Naye, gwe, did you have to swear?”

I still don’t get the objection.

I can understand how we don’t want children using swear words, because they’re apt to misuse them. If someone’s going to say ‘damn’, I prefer that the user understands all the variations of the word, and can do so colorfully.

(I’m joking. I generally think kids shouldn’t swear until they’re at least 14).

But for adults to be offended by swear words? You’re not a child anymore. Perhaps you should stop clinging to ‘innocence’…hm? No? Oh, well. 

Below is a conversation many a healthy swearer has found themselves engaged in.

“Man, look at what this fucking wanker did to my book!”

“Don’t swear, please”

“Why?”

“It’s not decent”.

“Decent for what exactly?”

“It just sounds vulgar”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Have your ears fallen off?”

“Eh?”

“Has my vulgar language caused your ears to fall off?”

“No, but…”

“So what about the fucking wanker that destroyed my book then?”

“PLEASE stop using that language”.

Nope. Swearing is good. Here’s a few examples why.

It releases stress. Swearing  can lift your mood marginally. Should you stub your toe against a table, the relief you feel after you exclaim, “Holy SHIT!” is almost immediate.

It lets you know that drama’s a’ comin’.  Imagine hearing someone going, “Aw, hellll no!” Don’t you sit up straighter and frantically try to pinpoint the source of this upcoming drama?

 It signifies a level of coolity. Compare these two sentences: “I’m so tired” and “Son of a mother, I’m fuckin’ exhausted”. Think about it. Doesn’t that second sentence just sound soooo cool?

Hell yeah.