The idiots we meet in toilets

I had entered a toilet in Lugogo shopping mall to take a short call, and was almost startled off my seat when the doorknob was strongly manipulated by someone on the other side of the door.

I’m used to Ugandans not knocking on doors of toilets. What I’m not used to is them not taking a hint. After about ten seconds, the doorknob shook violently again.

I could sense that I was dealing with a special sort of female.Ten more seconds and I almost cried out when the door was damn near ripped off its hinges. I heard a frustrated oath.

“Is someone inside?!” madam called out.


“Erm…yeah?” I asked-questioned.

“I want to use the toilet”, madam complained.

You don’t say.

“Well, I’m inside now”, I said. I’m not the prudish female, but there was something particularly unladylike about talking through the toilet door like this with a total stranger.

She shook the door violently again. Oh, hell no.

“What’s your problem?” I called out. “Can’t you hear me? I’m an actual person sitting on the toilet! What do you want?”

“Me, I want to use the toilet”, she whined. “Get out”.


“Fly over”, I called out.

There was a tense silence.


“Fly over!” I cried louder. I shall confess that I was struggling very hard not to laugh.

“Stupid!” she said.






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