You’ve got to be kidding me.

That’s what I was thinking through most of the dream I had last night.

I was pregnant. Which was okay because apparently, I had a relatively comfortable pregnancy. My stomach only got as big as after I’ve had a huge meal. Colleagues marveled at how my body wasn’t changing at all.

I didn’t even get pregnancy pains. I simply knew it was time to give birth and for some unknown reason, chose to not go to the hospital. but popped into an ‘unused office’ that conveniently appeared out of nowhere.

I then gave birth. Two of them were white as milk, and the other two grey as ash. I was so proud of my babies. I knew that the New Vision was going to feature me on the front page of their next daily.

“Lindsey Kukunda gives birth to four healthy bouncing kittens”.

                       WHAT THE FUCK?!

I looked at the bundle of felines I was cooing over and realized that something somewhere had gone horribly wrong.

Miao, Mummy!

It got worse. My horrified mind observed me squeezing my breast to release milk for the creatures. I then procceeded to suckle them, two by two.

Inside my head, I was running around like a trapped mouse, kicking and scratching at my sleeping form.

“EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeW!!!!Wakeup wakeup WAKEUP!”

After they had drunk their fill, I snuck out and emptied my handbag. I put them in the handbag and took a casual stroll towards the new taxi park. I stopped near a refuse pile and thought long and hard about what I was doing.

What kind of mother abandons her children at a refuse dump?

This bitch right here

 Word. Kittens indeed. Seriously, what the fuck?

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