A shopping experience gone horrible wrong…

All I wanted was a P.K Wrigley. So I did the usual-stopped at a kafunda to just get a P.K. Usually this is how the transaction goes:

Customer: One P.K please.
Shop keeper hands over P.K and customer walks away unwrapping it.

But not me. I’ve got to end up with a wacko girl. Maybe it’s because I started it all wrong.

“Do you have P.K? I asked.

She simply stared at me. I thought maybe she had not heard.

“Do you have P.K?”

She got up from her seat, and came to the doorway and stared at me some more. How odd. If she hadn’t heard correctly, she could at least say ‘Pardon?’. I changed tactics.

“I’d like a P.K please”.

“Eh?!” she said.

“One P.K please”.

She turned her head and looked vaguely round the shop. And turned back to look at me.

“Chewing gum”, I said. “It can be yellow or green or there’s some new colors now I think”.

She looked totally flabbergasted.

How I was

How I wanted to be

“Please?”, I entreated, raising my voice just in case she was a little deaf. “Can I just have a P.K Wrigley?!”

She picked up a jar just brimming with the little devils, and I had waited so long I could feel myself salivating. She had her hand on the top, when she turned back to me and asked: 

“P.K what?” 

I swear, you bitch, fuck you and the ship you rode in on