It’s been a while since I’ve been open and sharing on this blog. Sure, I write about all the strange things that happen to me. But not about what I feel inside. And yet, once in a while, when I read something really honest by someone, I feel inspired. So here’s to hoping that some soul out there will be inspired by this post.
I like reading posts on Facebook. And there are so many inspirational stories there-at least among my friends. Some have advanced career wise, recovered from life’s challenges, some are discovering a newer stronger version of themselves-some are literally living their dreams and others are well on the way to full blown self-actualization.
But I know there are other stories. Stories of loss, disillusionment, despair, feelings of failure and a total lack of achievement. I’d like to ask you with all these problems to take a minute to chill. Why?
Because I’ve realized that people tend to focus on where they have failed, and not where they have improved. We live in a culture where we continuously strive for improvement to justify our success, and sadly enough, even our existence on this earth.
A friend of mine once said something I found inspirational. He said: “Why do I have to do anything amazing? I want to be mediocre. I want to wake up and brush my teeth, and go to my boring job that pays the bills and hang out with friends and family when I get the chance. Not for me the pursuit of grandeur and material possessions”.
I envied him. Because my life is the opposite. I am forever chasing dreams that do not actually come to completion. If they do, they lose their flavor, they’re not what I thought they would be, and I start building a whole new ladder. And start to miss the days when I was able to stop and smell the roses. You know, when it was okay to just be a person, being a part of the universe.
This year has been a turning point for me. I’ve made a lot of improvements in my life, lost some dirty habits and grown a little bit more mature. Still, there are drawbacks. In equal measure, I’ve also fucked up quite a lot. Disappointed some people, and lost some friends, and generally been an all round jackass.
I was beating myself up about my weaknesses a few months ago when my old boss (a great person) and a man to whom I credit whatever success I have achieved over the past two years, told me: “You’re not a wuss. You’re just human”.
Cheerful words. And I proceeded to be ‘human’ again shortly after. Can’t fix some shit.
Now I choose to remind myself that next year is an opportunity to once again start fresh. This works for everybody.We may not be able to achieve full self-absolution for our shortcomings (in fact, I’m starting to think this is impossible), but we’ve succeeded this year, we’ve survived this year and we have the next one to live through. And hopefully enjoy.
|Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year|