It’s really down to you, you know.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who’s been having-you guessed it-man problems.

One of these men she shouldn’t have wasted time on, but she did anyway against her better judgement. And she believes she’s now paying the price emotionally.

I simply have to respond to her situation for all women who have been or are in, or will be in her shoes. Because I’ve been there, I’m not ashamed to say. Been there way too many times.

You meet this guy. He’s awesome. He makes you feel special. He says nice things to you when you’re alone together. Note that he doesn’t do nice things. He says them. When you’re out with his pals, he doesn’t acknowledge your existence. If he does, it’s just to say, ‘This is so and so’.

In my case, this one guy would just leave his friends to become curious about the pot plant standing by his side and they’d start making friendly to me. By his demeanor, they saw I was merely a pot plant and fit to be fertilized by any of them. Ouch. Where does our self-esteem go, you can ask? Out the window, I’ll answer.

Because it’s so much fun while you’re doing it

I don’t have much to say about being in an unsatisfactory relationship with a man. But if you’re not being respected, get the hell out. If you’re not being acknowledged by him in public, get the hell out. If he’s indirectly shown you you’re no more than a plaything (you girls know this has happened to you, lie to yourselves all you want)-get the hell out.

I know that for some women, this takes years to do!

In the words of a song from a band called Cold play  “When you’re too in love to let it go, you’ll never know how much you’re worth”.

In conclusion. Don’t hate yourself. But most importantly, don’t hate the man.

Simply forgive yourself for being foolish. Happens to the best of us. But let me not leave you feeling bad. As Aretha Franklin sang:

You’re still a rose!
You’re welcome girlfriend. 

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